Thermostat settings, health problems, finances — every couple faces challenges in their everyday lives. Over time, the disagreements and stresses can take a toll on the relationship’s stability. Unless the couple is able to communicate effectively, and address each issue as it arises, the tension mounts. Resentment builds, and the frequency of arguments increases.
In time, the couple decides to separate. They want to move forward with a divorce to get relief. But is divorce really the answer to their marriage strain? Are there other solutions that could keep the marriage intact – in fact, strengthen it? What about the children, who have an especially difficult time with divorce?
To sort through it all, many couples turn to therapy. Through counseling, they can resolve whether it’s best to stay in the marriage or leave. They can also get guidance in making the transition from marriage to single life. The therapy may be held in individual or couple sessions.
Ms. Leslie Terner can also explain to each of them what the options are. If they should choose the Collaborative Divorce Process, she is able to provide them with referrals.
For most people, the prospect of divorce brings on many emotions. While some feel relief, even the partner choosing to leave may have intense feelings. Guilt, anger, anxiety, confusion and fear are common emotions. When children are involved, the stress level is typically higher.
Communication problems are very often the cause of divorce. In some cases, one partner may have a tendency to give the “silent treatment” to punish. There may be stonewalling — avoiding any discussion of problems, so there is never a solution.
For couples with children, there can be an inequality in responsibilities — in chores and childcare – which is often a divorce issue.
When frustrated couples are making the decision whether to work on their marriage or get divorced, here are three factors to consider:
If there’s even a tiny bit of positivity, it can be a foundation for repairing their relationship. Too often, couples get into a toxic pattern and focus on their weaknesses. If they can see the positive, it can be nurtured. Maybe they’re just going through a rough patch.
It’s a good question to ask each other. If you both have reasons to stay together, there is a good chance that you will be successful in strengthening the relationship. It’s worth taking the time to consider the benefits of staying together for everyone involved. Consider how divorce will affect the children. Is it worth it?
If things are tense, you probably have not snuggled much. Just do it, even if it feels awkward. Every relationship thrives on affection. Even forced gestures will help. In time, it will feel more natural – just like old times.
When couples are in the process of getting a divorce, therapy can help them make the transition in a constructive way — to avoid hostility and emotional upheaval. This is especially necessary given the emotions that divorce normally stirs, like fear, anxiety, depression and grief. A psychotherapist can help with skills in working through those difficulties.
With a therapist, couples can also sort through practical issues like financial obligations, parenting, and living arrangements.
When children are involved, therapy can be very important. Too often, parents are overwhelmed by their own feelings and experiences and don’t take note of their children’s emotions. Children may be confused about the divorce, and feel guilt, loss and even abandonment.
Through therapy, couples and their children can better cope with the divorce. They can begin to see the positive aspect of the transition — and learn to view it as a time for personal growth.
When they take the time to understand how their children view the divorce, they will help minimize the emotional turmoil for the children.
To find out more about Divorce Issues Services, contact Leslie Terner’s office located at 5480 Wisconsin Avenue Suite LL8 Chevy Chase, Maryland 20815. Leslie Terner provides Divorce Counseling in Chevy Chase, MD, and its surrounding areas.Book an appointment by calling 301-718-1758
5480 Wisconsin Avenue
Chevy Chase, MD 20815
Fri and Sun: Closed
I am a Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Clinical Nurse Specialist in Chevy Chase, Maryland. I have been in private practice since 1999. I help clients to heal and gain insight into why they have developed their behaviors.